adjusting

Hazel is a 3 weeks old now, and is so rad. just sayin. but it is always an adjustment when there's a new baby around. some things i forgot about having a newborn:

- how much time you spend parked on your butt nursing. and how much more difficult it is to do that with kids whining or fighting or needing things at the same time you feed the baby

- how DONE i am with changing not one, but TWO sets of diapers. operation potty train Ozzie will commence VERY soon. i can not stand it.

-how big your other kids seem with a teeny little baby in your arms. time goes by SO fast! Hazel already is plumping up, and doesn't fit newborn diapers, and is losing her hair, and i've even had to put away a couple of outfits already...sniff sniff.

- how much more attention your other kids want. ozzie wants me to do everything for him, where-as usually before Hazel was around he would settle for daddy to do things for him or by himself. he's a teeny bit jealous i think. and greta has decided she is an adult now, and is taking showers, and brushing her teeth all by herself, and has the attitude of a teenager. great.

-how GOOD little babies smell. even when they barf all over themselves( which is often) they still smell so good. if i could drink that smell i would.

-The last on my list was going to be how tired you are. and dont get me wrong, i AM tired. but for some reason, maybe summer time? maybe better recovery? maybe not having a husband in school? i feel less tired that with my other two kids. thank GOODNESS! i was a zombie for like 6 months with ozzie, and so i'm grateful for sleep. so grateful.

In other news, we've been having fun weekend get aways seeing as we're a little bit strapped to the house. From stinky Park lake, to waterton, to the raymond pool, it's been fun! Glad Dick has the weekends off, makes it so nice.

and last, i have to document a conversation i had with my Greta this week:

G: Mom, i just dont know who i should marry...i think Tyce for sure, but then that boy Dillan from the water slides was really fun and wanted to marry me too. Who should i choose?

M: well i wouldnt worry about it too much Greta, you're still very young and wont have to think about that for a long time

after a short pause

G: Well... someones gonna be disappointed.

holy cow. i'm in trouble with that girl. but at least no one can ever say my kids lack in the self esteem department:)

and baby makes 5

I can't believe there are 5 people in our family now. i look back when we are driving in the van and i'm surprised to see most of the seats filled. it's weird to me, i seriously feel like i'm not old enough to have, a husband, an education, a house, a mini van, and now 3 kids. i swear, it seems like last week that i was in high school and my biggest life concerns were what i was going to wear each day, and what songs were playing in my sweet 1984 camero. ANYWAYS.... nostalgia aside, here's the baby story of Hazel, it needs to be documented.

So my due date was July 12th, and seeing as i've never been early before, actually overdue both times, i figured Dick and I were safe heading to Calgary on the 8th to go see Wicked and enjoy some time alone together! In hindsight, probably not the best idea. So we left on Friday afternoon, did a little shopping, had dinner with geoff an nicki and went to the show. It. Was. Awesome. I first saw Wicked in New York and so i was anticipating it to be good, but not quite as good as in new york. but actually, it was quite comparable, and Dick really liked it too! We had a great time, and i was very un comfortable sitting for so long at that point, but not feeling anything out of the ordinary.

So we left to go to our hotel, with a quick stop in at Peter's Drive in for milk shakes on the way. The plan was to sleep over and head out glasses shopping in the morning before we went back home. A half hour after we checked into the Sheraton... 1am, first contraction. I knew it was a real one immediately because i could feel it in my back, not just my tummy. I didn't say anything to Dick because i knew if i did he wouldnt sleep at all, and i thought they'd probably just go away cause they seemed pretty weak.

1:10 am- next contraction....crap.

So i used my trusty little iphone app to time the contractions and they were staying withing the 10-12 min apart range. so while i layed there i started stressing...what if we have to go to the hospital in calgary? which one do i go to? where is it? who would deliver me? what about my mom, could she babysit longer? i think Jill has an uncle thats a Dr. in calgary, should i call him? etc. etc. etc. needless to say it was a LONG sleepless night amidst contractions.

Finally i decided that if the contractions hadn't gotten any closer together by 5:30 am, that we would take our chances and head back home. a decision that was definitely inspired. And so we left the hotel about 6 am, and drove back to lethbridge. scary. i was really worried this was gonna be one of those-side of the road- born in the back of the van-with only the cows as your witness- types of birth stories. THANKFULLY, that wasn't the case. After dick pulled out all of his nose hairs to stay awake driving home(literally), we made it back to our house and chilled for a bit until things progressed further. Phewf!!!

About 10:30am the contractions we're getting embarrassing and scary to the kids at home so we left for the hospital to make sure everything was ok, and hopefully get admitted. After they checked me in, and checked me out, i was still only 2 cm dilated. SERIOUSLY??!! i was so annoyed, it had been a really long night and morning already, but the nurse said to go for a walk and she'd check me in an hour. sure, sure. so i tried to walk, but honestly thought i was going to pass out everytime i had a contraction, so i ended back in my bed to tough it out. and thats what i did. the nurse kept saying when she looked at the monitor, "Wow, thats a big one" or "those are some fierce looking contractions." I was like, thanks tips. super helpful. Anyways, within about a half hour i was DYING, and begged to be checked again and get an epidural so i could have a break. My Dr. was not on call because it was a saturday, so i had a new Dr. with the DRYEST personality, but i was just happy that anyone would check me and get me out of this pain. Sure enough, i had gone from 2 cm to 7cm really fast and they said i could get an epidural...YEAH!!!!!!

so my IV was in, blood work done, just waiting for the anesthesiologist...who they were paging, and paging, and paging, and never showed up. turns out that when there is only one availiable in the entire hospital, he's a pretty busy guy. Dumb. stupid lethbridge. with all the mormons and hudderites around here having babies, you'd think they could get another Dr. for the maternity wing. Well, as soon as i came to terms that i was going to have to do this au-natural, i lost it. I said to Dick, "i CANT do this!" i'm sure a million times, or maybe like 3 times, but still. I was terrified. and the new 'bad personality' doctor i had been dealt, made me super paranoid about rupturing my uterus because i was having a V-bac, and actually seemed bored with the whole process. like i needed to hear this now, when i'm right in the middle of labor. So, they decided to give me some morphine which did nothing for pain and just made me completely out of it, and i began to push. Like i said, the morphine made me so tired and delirious that i could barely hear any of the coaching from the dr. or nurses, but after about a half hour of horror, i was with it enough to make out the words "It's a Girl!!!"

I was SO happy she was here, and safe, and crying, and i was SO happy those flippin contractions were over. seriously. death.

The aftermath of having a baby is never fun. With Greta it was only 2 days of recovery before i went back in for major surgery. With ozzie it was recovering from a c-section. But I'm not gonna lie, even though natural child birth was horrifying on many many levels, the recovery can not even compare to the other times for me. i feel like i could run a marathon (figuratively of course) this time around. I'm healing quick, i'm not so sore that i cant enjoy holding and snuggling my new baby, and i'm not having to take pain meds all the time to survive. and i feel relatively sane because i'm getting decent amounts of sleep. I'm so, SO grateful! I'm not even closed off to the idea of maybe...MAYBE having one more child someday...which is huge for me! When all is said and done, i'm just so blessed to have a loving husband and my 3 beautiful kids!

Welcome to the world baby Hazel!

mixed emotions

wow. 5 days left...technically. can. not. believe. it.

it's about this time in my previous pregnancies that i start to freak out a bit, especially when I actually come to realize/remember that this baby is going to have to come out of my body someway, some how...very soon. i find it hard to remember from each pregnancy, certain details or differences between them. but here's a few things that come to mind this time around.

things that have NOT been helpful this time around:

-having 2 other kids to manage while being extremely tired

-not being in very good shape before i got prego

- being prego mostly during the winter= BAD eating/ snacking habits

- hip pain from Hell. seriously, i feel like a 90 year old

- drinking an entire bottle of rotten FUZE juice, and barfing my guts out one night(i know i shoudn't complain, but for a never ever barfer...it was traumatic)

- breaking not one, but BOTH of my swimsuit straps at the raymond pool due to my prego girth. (granted not my fault, the lime ricki clasps might as well be made from playdough) but it was almost a severe wardrobe malfunction)

- the most intense braxton hicks contractions ever. i feel like i've been carrying a medicine ball in my abdomen for the last 2 months

things that have SAVED my life this time around:

-having family close by to babysit for Dr.s appointments or just when i need a break. dreamy.

- NOT having my husband in school full time, nuff said.

- Mon./ Wed. nap day- just about every time greta had pre-school, i had a lay down while ozzie napped. BEST!!!

- i have been ridiculously heathly throughout the entire 9 months, even in the winter. i think i caught a head cold from my kids once. that's it!

Other small things:

- I feel like i have been carrying really high this time around and really out front, very torpedo-ish.

- this baby has been dancing or something in there from the get go, never still, especially after 10pm

- i can tell this baby is NOT breach, (thank goodness) because i can feel 10 million kicks and movements a day, and with ozzie all i felt was a giant head stuck in between my ribs.

- the kids have been so cute and sweet the last few weeks, giving the baby lots of hugs and kisses, and talking to it, and feeling it move. greta especially, so cute!

- i really have NO CLUE what we are having, and i am dying to find out. it has been torture for the last couple months

- I AM HUGE! it is getting really embarassing.

- i dont know if this may or may not be my last pregnancy. but if it is, i will really miss feeling the baby move around in there, my favorite part for sure.

- last, i feel very very blessed to have such good pregnancies. i know how difficult it is for some to get pregnant, or stay that way, or survive the 9 months in one piece. carrying a giant baby is not for the weary, but i'm grateful for everything that has led to this point. and i just pray for a semi-decent labor and delivery(i feel it's my turn) and a healthy, happy baby!

I really am excited, it's baby time.